11/16/2009

-Crap! This makes me cry everytime... I am a baby!
** There was more before this, I just posted the good stuff!

Mike Rosa 2:11 PM

I'll get to the point then...

if that's easiest

 Jenna Richards 2:13 PM

ok

 Mike Rosa 2:13 PM

see, this IM thing is tough

because if I'm gonna say what I think in writing

I wanna make sure I'm actually saying exactly what I want to say so it doesn't come across the wrong way

 Jenna Richards 2:14 PM

I don’t think u should worry about that really

But, it’s up to you though

 Mike Rosa 2:15 PM

i just feel like it's more sincere to say stuff face to face

but I'll try...just give me the benefit of the doubt a little bit if I say anything that sounds dumb

 Jenna Richards 2:15 PM

k

 Mike Rosa 2:16 PM

I don't envy in any way the situation you've been in the past few weeks

you and I started hanging out and getting to know each other and at least in my estimation were having a really good time

and then all of a sudden “Other guy” comes back in town

and because you guys have history going back and he has this intense surgery experience, etc.

everything just got turned all upside down

 Jenna Richards 2:21 PM

Yeah that is how it happened

 Mike Rosa 2:22 PM

and I know I wasn't wrong in assuming you were having a really good time with me

and I feel you've been super cool about everything

You have been very upfront and honest

so I'm not really upset in any way about anything that's happened

life is what it is sometimes...it throws you curveballs and shakes things up

 Jenna Richards 2:24 PM

Yeah I had a blast with you and I have tried to be fair

 Mike Rosa 2:24 PM

because it's supposed to

there are lessons to be learned

and no one can say how even the smallest events can change the entire course of a person's life

so what's happened was supposed to happen for one reason or another

no one yet knowing what that reason may end up being

in any case...

I have noticed however that since he came back that you've grown increasingly distant

not outwardly...because we've continued to talk and go on dates, etc.

but the inside part of you, the part of you that was making a connection, has gone somewhere else

and it's been a subtle change, but one that's very noticeable to someone like me

 Jenna Richards 2:32 PM

Okay

 Mike Rosa 2:32 PM

so I know that you still have feelings for “Other Guy”

and that those feelings are strong

 Jenna Richards 2:33 PM

Yeah I think that is how things happened and I like your perspective on the situation

Mike Rosa 2:33 PM

how could your feelings not still be strong?

it was just like a week before we got started hangin out that you were still talking to him a ton

 Jenna Richards 2:34 PM

Are u asking a questions?

 Mike Rosa 2:34 PM

so I understand

rhetorical question

it was recent enough that I understand there were still strong feelings

 Jenna Richards 2:36 PM

k

your  being too nice about it

 Mike Rosa 2:36 PM

I'm not too nice

I'm exactly the right amount of nice that a mean world needs

*small break

Mike Rosa 3:41 PM

in any case, I know that you have strong feelings still for “other guy”

Candice has told me some things because she wants to protect my feelings

but not anything that I didn't already know by the way you seemed to be a bit more distant all of a sudden

and it's been my impression as of late...

that your intention is to follow through with the “other guy” thing and see where it leads

would you say that's a pretty accurate summary of where you're at this point?

or am I off a bit?

Jenna Richards 4:12 PM

Yeah that kinda right about where I am at. I am more at the I need more time to feels it out point. I thought I wanted to move past him and planned on it… It is just weird how the first week I do he comes back... it sucks and I am sorry

 Mike Rosa 4:14 PM

gotcha

like I was saying...I totally understand

we were just barely getting started so I get that you've still got loose ends that need to be tied up elsewhere

 Jenna Richards 4:16 PM

Doesn’t it piss u off a little though

Do u think I should like him?

 Mike Rosa 4:17 PM

not pissed off

obviously that's not what anyone really intended to happen

I only get angry with people if they're intentionally mean or terribly negligent, dishonest, etc

you've been none of those things so I'm not pissed

 Jenna Richards 4:19 PM

okay

well I think u should be a little mad at me

I would be if I was you

 Mike Rosa4:20 PM

why? what did you do wrong that I should be mad about?

 Jenna Richards 4:20 PM

nothing really but the situation kind of sucks

 Mike Rosa 4:20 PM

you're just following your heart and whether or not it's smart

no one can ever really be faulted for following their heart, can they?

 Jenna Richards 4:21 PM

well do u think I should like him?

Do u think it is smart?

 Mike Rosa 4:22 PM

that's not my decision to make

 Jenna Richards 4:22 PM

Well duh I want your opinion though

 Mike Rosa 4:23 PM

I wasn't being sarcastic...I was trying to say that I don't actually know him so there's no way to know for sure

you'd be a better judge than me

 Jenna Richards 4:23 PM

K, fine Mike

 Mike Rosa 4:23 PM

easy...let me finish

I'm not trying to be difficult...this is why this is hard to do over IM

because I'm really being kinda honest

I only know the bad things about him that you've told me...

 Jenna Richards 4:24 PM

I know

 Mike Rosa 4:24 PM

I haven't seen him enough to know what good traits he may have

 Jenna Richards 4:24 PM

So do u think I should like u or him?

 Mike Rosa 4:25 PM

Me, of course

hahaha

 Jenna Richards 4:25 PM

okay

 Mike Rosa 4:25 PM

I look at this situation from 2 angles...one as simply stepping back and being your friend

and the other from being where I am as a guy that you started hanging out with

so stepping back as a friend...

I got to see you be sad when he wasn't giving back as much as he probably should to you

 Jenna Richards 4:28 PM

I was never sad just confused...

 Mike Rosa 4:28 PM

there wasn't a hint of sadness in that for you?

 Jenna Richards 4:29 PM

No I was more frustrated than sad

 Mike Rosa 4:29 PM

there was frustration for sure

probably frustrated at him

and I remember you being frustrated with boys in general

 Jenna Richards 4:29 PM

yeah

 Mike Rosa 4:30 PM

for not asking people out on dates, being non committal, etc

just wanting to get action, that type of stuff

as a friend

just buddy to buddy

I would tell you this is probably a risky guy to date

I only see parts of it so like I said before...you're in a better position than me to know

I know strictly as a guy...

if I went through what he went through with all the surgery stuff

with you more or less saving his life, or at least his career

staying at his bedside to take care of him

keeping him company while he was recovering

if I went through that and was treated that way by a girl that I really liked

I'd be doing ANYTHING i possibly could to show my gratitude and appreciation

and make sure I could keep that girl forever

hell, I'd probably have at least tried to put a ring on her finger after the whole ordeal

but that's just me

 after being treated that way I'd know...and I wouldn't hesitate for a second being with her

 no for half a breath

 so in any case, as a friend, what I'm saying is...

 I think you'll mostly likely walk down this road for a while and find that it continues to be what it was before

 so you just need to be true to yourself

 so as a friend, just be careful not to spend too much time of your life walking a road that isn't taking you where you want to go

 if it continues to not be what you need it to be, don't follow it forever and let him waste your time

and if it ends up turning into what you'd like it to be, then awesome

 as a friend I would be SO happy for you if it turned out to be everything you wanted it to be

 I really mean that

 stepping back into my own shoes for a second

 I don't know you super incredibly well...we only just barely had the chance to get started

 but you deserve to know that I kind of adore you

 I think you're gorgeous, sure...

 but pretty girls around her are a dime a dozen so that's not what's important

 I like that you're kind hearted, loving, and thoughtful

 I don't think you have ANY idea how truly funny you are...one of the only girls around here that sincerely makes me laugh

I kinda like a lot of the the things about you that you said “exe boyfriend” couldn't stand...the way you like getting dressed up, etc. and etc.

 I dig all the same silly 90's R&B

 and tons of other little things like that

but if we're not on the same page as far as what we're looking for right now

 then it's best for us to just stay buddies

 or at least until you have a chance to tie up all your loose ends elsewhere

5:04pmJenna

 honestly that is probably the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a long time!

 I cant think or remember a time someone said or noticed things like that about me

 Thanks!

 means a lot!

5:05pmMike

 no worries

 I hope it means at least something...

5:06pmJenna

 it means a lot! Thank you so much for being so understanding!

 I am not used to understanding boys

i just think you have been more than amazing handling a sucky situation

5:07pmMike

 haha

 what you'll find about me the more that you dig with me...

5:09pmJenna

 :):)

5:10pmMike

 I'm the guy that ALWAYS does or says exactly the right thing

 not because I've learned to fake it

 but because I really AM that guy down to my core

5:11pmJenna

 Yeah I believe that!

5:11pmMike

 I don't know have all the answers to what I'm supposed to spend my life doing yet

 but I know that the reason I was put on this earth is to be someone's 'perfect'

5:13pmJenna

 Yeah I believe that too!

5:14pmMike

 so that's really the gist of everything I guess...

5:14pmJenna

 Yeah I guess so! :):)

5:14pmMike

 it'll make me sad if you go down another road and end up getting hurt

 so promise to take care of yourself and NOT just think about someone else's needs and wants

 don't sell yourself short

 in the meantime, I don't have any intention to disappear

 from your life...we were buddies first and it'll always be that way as far as I'm concerned

5:16pmJenna

 U do say all the right things!

 I really appreciate it!

5:17pmMike

 don't feel like you can't talk to me about whatever happens because you think I'm gonna be hurt or not understand

 or because I'll be angry

 because I won't be...I'm here as your friend first as foremost

5:18pmJenna

 I don't which is weird

 Thanks!

5:19pmMike

 BUT there is one thing I DO need you to promise me

 you still owe me a dance

 when we were in Vegas watching that silly Phillipino band...

 at the stratosphere

they played some slow song...all the old drunk people started dancing

 and I asked you to dance...you were too shy and shut me down

 so whatever the outcome of all this ends up being...

 at some point, you still owe me a dance

 a slow one

 burning room optional

5:22pmJenna

 Ha! Okay... Deal!

:):)

5:23pmMike

 anyway, I gotta run

 sure you do to

let’s plan to chat tomorrow

5:23Jenna

Thank you and have a good night!

**I hope he doesn't care that I posted this...

*** I know most of you won't understand why this mean so much to me but, it does. I had been through a lot the year leading up to this and it was exactly what I needed to hear in that moment! I knew that he cared for me no matter the outcome and I also realized that he knew me, liked me, and appreciated me for me! Something I had not felt like that before!  

Everything happens for a reason... So many things (more on that later, maybe?) happened in my life that I couldn't explain at the time but, I now know that they were leading me to Mike and I am thankful for all of them!

I love him!

Again, I am sorry for all the mushy stuff...I just wanted to have a record of it!

-Jenna Rosa