Friday, March 18, 2011

11/16/2009

-Crap! This makes me cry everytime... I am a baby!
** There was more before this, I just posted the good stuff!

Mike Rosa 2:11 PM
I'll get to the point then...
if that's easiest
 Jenna Richards 2:13 PM
ok
 Mike Rosa 2:13 PM
see, this IM thing is tough
because if I'm gonna say what I think in writing
I wanna make sure I'm actually saying exactly what I want to say so it doesn't come across the wrong way
 Jenna Richards 2:14 PM
I don’t think u should worry about that really
But, it’s up to you though
 Mike Rosa 2:15 PM
i just feel like it's more sincere to say stuff face to face
but I'll try...just give me the benefit of the doubt a little bit if I say anything that sounds dumb
 Jenna Richards 2:15 PM
k
 Mike Rosa 2:16 PM
I don't envy in any way the situation you've been in the past few weeks
you and I started hanging out and getting to know each other and at least in my estimation were having a really good time
and then all of a sudden “Other guy” comes back in town
and because you guys have history going back and he has this intense surgery experience, etc.
everything just got turned all upside down
 Jenna Richards 2:21 PM
Yeah that is how it happened
 Mike Rosa 2:22 PM
and I know I wasn't wrong in assuming you were having a really good time with me
and I feel you've been super cool about everything
You have been very upfront and honest
so I'm not really upset in any way about anything that's happened
life is what it is sometimes...it throws you curveballs and shakes things up
 Jenna Richards 2:24 PM
Yeah I had a blast with you and I have tried to be fair
 Mike Rosa 2:24 PM
because it's supposed to
there are lessons to be learned
and no one can say how even the smallest events can change the entire course of a person's life
so what's happened was supposed to happen for one reason or another
no one yet knowing what that reason may end up being
in any case...
I have noticed however that since he came back that you've grown increasingly distant
not outwardly...because we've continued to talk and go on dates, etc.
but the inside part of you, the part of you that was making a connection, has gone somewhere else
and it's been a subtle change, but one that's very noticeable to someone like me
 Jenna Richards 2:32 PM
Okay
 Mike Rosa 2:32 PM
so I know that you still have feelings for “Other Guy”
and that those feelings are strong
 Jenna Richards 2:33 PM
Yeah I think that is how things happened and I like your perspective on the situation
Mike Rosa 2:33 PM
how could your feelings not still be strong?
it was just like a week before we got started hangin out that you were still talking to him a ton
 Jenna Richards 2:34 PM
Are u asking a questions?
 Mike Rosa 2:34 PM
so I understand
rhetorical question
it was recent enough that I understand there were still strong feelings
 Jenna Richards 2:36 PM
k
your  being too nice about it
 Mike Rosa 2:36 PM
I'm not too nice
I'm exactly the right amount of nice that a mean world needs
*small break
Mike Rosa 3:41 PM
in any case, I know that you have strong feelings still for “other guy”
Candice has told me some things because she wants to protect my feelings
but not anything that I didn't already know by the way you seemed to be a bit more distant all of a sudden
and it's been my impression as of late...
that your intention is to follow through with the “other guy” thing and see where it leads
would you say that's a pretty accurate summary of where you're at this point?
or am I off a bit?
Jenna Richards 4:12 PM
Yeah that kinda right about where I am at. I am more at the I need more time to feels it out point. I thought I wanted to move past him and planned on it… It is just weird how the first week I do he comes back... it sucks and I am sorry
 Mike Rosa 4:14 PM
gotcha
like I was saying...I totally understand
we were just barely getting started so I get that you've still got loose ends that need to be tied up elsewhere
 Jenna Richards 4:16 PM
Doesn’t it piss u off a little though
Do u think I should like him?
 Mike Rosa 4:17 PM
not pissed off
obviously that's not what anyone really intended to happen
I only get angry with people if they're intentionally mean or terribly negligent, dishonest, etc
you've been none of those things so I'm not pissed
 Jenna Richards 4:19 PM
okay
well I think u should be a little mad at me
I would be if I was you
 Mike Rosa4:20 PM
why? what did you do wrong that I should be mad about?
 Jenna Richards 4:20 PM
nothing really but the situation kind of sucks
 Mike Rosa 4:20 PM
you're just following your heart and whether or not it's smart
no one can ever really be faulted for following their heart, can they?
 Jenna Richards 4:21 PM
well do u think I should like him?
Do u think it is smart?
 Mike Rosa 4:22 PM
that's not my decision to make
 Jenna Richards 4:22 PM
Well duh I want your opinion though
 Mike Rosa 4:23 PM
I wasn't being sarcastic...I was trying to say that I don't actually know him so there's no way to know for sure
you'd be a better judge than me
 Jenna Richards 4:23 PM
K, fine Mike
 Mike Rosa 4:23 PM
easy...let me finish
I'm not trying to be difficult...this is why this is hard to do over IM
because I'm really being kinda honest
I only know the bad things about him that you've told me...
 Jenna Richards 4:24 PM
I know
 Mike Rosa 4:24 PM
I haven't seen him enough to know what good traits he may have
 Jenna Richards 4:24 PM
So do u think I should like u or him?
 Mike Rosa 4:25 PM
Me, of course
hahaha
 Jenna Richards 4:25 PM
okay
 Mike Rosa 4:25 PM
I look at this situation from 2 angles...one as simply stepping back and being your friend
and the other from being where I am as a guy that you started hanging out with
so stepping back as a friend...
I got to see you be sad when he wasn't giving back as much as he probably should to you
 Jenna Richards 4:28 PM
I was never sad just confused...
 Mike Rosa 4:28 PM
there wasn't a hint of sadness in that for you?
 Jenna Richards 4:29 PM
No I was more frustrated than sad
 Mike Rosa 4:29 PM
there was frustration for sure
probably frustrated at him
and I remember you being frustrated with boys in general
 Jenna Richards 4:29 PM
yeah
 Mike Rosa 4:30 PM
for not asking people out on dates, being non committal, etc
just wanting to get action, that type of stuff
as a friend
just buddy to buddy
I would tell you this is probably a risky guy to date
I only see parts of it so like I said before...you're in a better position than me to know
I know strictly as a guy...
if I went through what he went through with all the surgery stuff
with you more or less saving his life, or at least his career
staying at his bedside to take care of him
keeping him company while he was recovering
if I went through that and was treated that way by a girl that I really liked
I'd be doing ANYTHING i possibly could to show my gratitude and appreciation
and make sure I could keep that girl forever
hell, I'd probably have at least tried to put a ring on her finger after the whole ordeal
but that's just me
 after being treated that way I'd know...and I wouldn't hesitate for a second being with her
 no for half a breath
 so in any case, as a friend, what I'm saying is...
 I think you'll mostly likely walk down this road for a while and find that it continues to be what it was before
 so you just need to be true to yourself
 so as a friend, just be careful not to spend too much time of your life walking a road that isn't taking you where you want to go
 if it continues to not be what you need it to be, don't follow it forever and let him waste your time
and if it ends up turning into what you'd like it to be, then awesome
 as a friend I would be SO happy for you if it turned out to be everything you wanted it to be
 I really mean that
 stepping back into my own shoes for a second
 I don't know you super incredibly well...we only just barely had the chance to get started
 but you deserve to know that I kind of adore you
 I think you're gorgeous, sure...
 but pretty girls around her are a dime a dozen so that's not what's important
 I like that you're kind hearted, loving, and thoughtful
 I don't think you have ANY idea how truly funny you are...one of the only girls around here that sincerely makes me laugh
I kinda like a lot of the the things about you that you said “exe boyfriend” couldn't stand...the way you like getting dressed up, etc. and etc.
 I dig all the same silly 90's R&B
 and tons of other little things like that
but if we're not on the same page as far as what we're looking for right now
 then it's best for us to just stay buddies
 or at least until you have a chance to tie up all your loose ends elsewhere
5:04pmJenna
 honestly that is probably the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a long time!
 I cant think or remember a time someone said or noticed things like that about me
 Thanks!
 means a lot!
5:05pmMike
 no worries
 I hope it means at least something...
5:06pmJenna
 it means a lot! Thank you so much for being so understanding!
 I am not used to understanding boys
i just think you have been more than amazing handling a sucky situation
5:07pmMike
 haha
 what you'll find about me the more that you dig with me...
5:09pmJenna
 :):)
5:10pmMike
 I'm the guy that ALWAYS does or says exactly the right thing
 not because I've learned to fake it
 but because I really AM that guy down to my core
5:11pmJenna
 Yeah I believe that!
5:11pmMike
 I don't know have all the answers to what I'm supposed to spend my life doing yet
 but I know that the reason I was put on this earth is to be someone's 'perfect'
5:13pmJenna
 Yeah I believe that too!
5:14pmMike
 so that's really the gist of everything I guess...
5:14pmJenna
 Yeah I guess so! :):)
5:14pmMike
 it'll make me sad if you go down another road and end up getting hurt
 so promise to take care of yourself and NOT just think about someone else's needs and wants
 don't sell yourself short
 in the meantime, I don't have any intention to disappear
 from your life...we were buddies first and it'll always be that way as far as I'm concerned
5:16pmJenna
 U do say all the right things!
 I really appreciate it!
5:17pmMike
 don't feel like you can't talk to me about whatever happens because you think I'm gonna be hurt or not understand
 or because I'll be angry
 because I won't be...I'm here as your friend first as foremost
5:18pmJenna
 I don't which is weird
 Thanks!
5:19pmMike
 BUT there is one thing I DO need you to promise me
 you still owe me a dance
 when we were in Vegas watching that silly Phillipino band...
 at the stratosphere
they played some slow song...all the old drunk people started dancing
 and I asked you to dance...you were too shy and shut me down
 so whatever the outcome of all this ends up being...
 at some point, you still owe me a dance
 a slow one
 burning room optional
5:22pmJenna
 Ha! Okay... Deal!
:):)
5:23pmMike
 anyway, I gotta run
 sure you do to
let’s plan to chat tomorrow
5:23Jenna
Thank you and have a good night!

**I hope he doesn't care that I posted this...
*** I know most of you won't understand why this mean so much to me but, it does. I had been through a lot the year leading up to this and it was exactly what I needed to hear in that moment! I knew that he cared for me no matter the outcome and I also realized that he knew me, liked me, and appreciated me for me! Something I had not felt like that before!  

Everything happens for a reason... So many things (more on that later, maybe?) happened in my life that I couldn't explain at the time but, I now know that they were leading me to Mike and I am thankful for all of them!

I love him!
Again, I am sorry for all the mushy stuff...I just wanted to have a record of it!
-Jenna Rosa

2 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh! So dang cute and so special that you have that conversation recorded!! Love it Jenna!

    ReplyDelete
  2. i love this. SO. MUCH!
    love the two of you and i love mike for seeing the real you from the start.
    ~soph

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